things i will not say out loud

-Sometimes when I go somewhere, I want to never come back. Take Boston, for example. A part of me wants to bring everything meaningful with me out there and not come back. I'd live by the ocean and in a beautiful city and probably learn a lot about myself while I started over. And then I realize that everything meaningful to me will never fit inside a suitcase, or even a car. I couldn't pack Dexter nights on the couch with my dad into the suitcase, nor would going grocery shopping with my mom fit. My friends wouldn't be able to drop their lives and follow me to the east coast, so really I'd be leaving behind everything meaningful. The buses idling on Fell Street at 5am every day, avoiding stoplights on the back roads with knowledge that only comes from spending many years in one place. The more I think about it, I'll be coming back willingly.

-I'm tired of giving out endless amounts of advice to people who do absolutely nothing with it. I can't count the times in the past six months I've listened to someone talk about how awful things have been going with their lives, and gave them my whole, honest opinion of what I would do. Almost every single one of those occasions has been met with "Don't be mad, but I (insert contraction to whatever advice was given)." So this is me being done. I will not answer when you call me at an obscure hour to hear the same thing I've been hearing. This from the people who were less than willing to hear me out when I needed an ear. 

- I'm really liking the idea of the we pronoun. More and more lately I've been thinking about it and, to be as vague and subtle as possible, I love the concept of being a part of something. More than anything, I want to have something static in the hecticness of the world. I want to look forward to what "we" will do together. Vacations, movies, nights out, and staying in. I love being a part of a constant group of friends, or a constant companion. I want to wake up next to someone I can depend on to be there for me. After a year of trivial relationships and setting my expectations low, I can say that I've been ready to be mature about things.