I think it's funny how, I've spent most of my summer dreaming about the end of it. When it would be time to go back to school, but right before that, when all of best friends would be at home and make this town feel normal for one of the rare times since we all went away. Interestingly enough, most of my time since the summer began has been counting down to various events, driving places, dreading going to work, driving more places, and forgetting to reapply sunscreen while I roast myself in my backyard. While my gas tank filled, I saw my bank account move in the opposite direction. I realized that I should have been working my ass off about two weeks before it is time to leave, with almost an entire week taken off of work to go get drunk in a forest somewhere with my best friends. And looking back on it all, I don't give a fuck what mistakes I made, what nights I stayed in to read instead of going out, or all of the times I didn't answer my phone when I knew work was calling me to work extra hours. I picked a fight because it was easier than admitting it was wrong, I have played two sides of something to benefit myself, and I have spent money on clothes I didn't necessarily need. This summer was not one of those life-changing, revelation-having, epiphanies-every-morning ones. Far from that. Most mornings I woke up and calculated exactly how many minutes until I could peel off my guard suit, change into a bikini and roast myself in the sun. The extent of any revelations I had was that one night I was a third of a catfight waiting to happen, and the next morning we all learned to forget about it and remember that we were best friends again. Epiphanies? Texting while driving is usually a bad idea. Oh, and that life is too short to waste time reading a book you don't like. If you're 50 pages in and aren't feeling it, move onnnnn.

So maybe I didn't spend days in the bleachers at Wrigley like I planned. I didn't swim in the ocean, but only because it was 50 degrees on the day I went and I didn't wanna get my Uggs wet. I didn't skydive, and I only went to Lake Geneva once so far. 

But really, there's two and a half weeks left, and there are infinite possibilities. I'm going to cliff jump. I'm going to drive fast with the music as loud as it goes while we scream at the top of our lungs to the radio. I'm going to buy a pair of shoes because they're on sale, but that match with nothing I own, just to buy an entire outfit to match.

And at the end of my time with my favorite season, I'm going to move all of my shit into a dorm room some twenty stories in the sky hope for the best. This time last year, I knew nothing about how the upcoming year was going to pan out. I had my certainties, but soon learned that even the things you trust and believe in most will not always come through for you. But for all the things that went wrong, I found goodness in so many places. And on that note, I can only hope for another schoolyear to be just as amazing as the last one was. But first, I need to savor my summertime....