I feel like the past week or so I've filled my time with so many distractions, dinners, and nights out that I haven't had time to think about anything deeper than "I guess I could leave class early to lay out in the quad if we're watching another movie in here." I think I'm doing it on purpose. That I hurry to get papers and projects done and then sprint out of my room into the company of others so I don't have to see all the reminders that I am not going to get what I want. That at the end of the day, you'll text me something sweet and it'll break my heart that we're not together, but I know deep down that it's still going to stay that way. 

I've tried being totally hedonistic and just doing things for myself and not caring what direction they go in. This does not work after a few days. I start to feel guilty and realize that I simply can't have it all. I come to realize this time after time and I'm left wondering what exactly I am supposed to have. 

“Every once in while, people step up. They rise above themselves. Sometimes, they fall short. Life is funny sometimes; it can push pretty hard, but if you look close enough, you find hope, in the words of children, in the bars of a song, in the eyes of someone you love & if you're lucky, I mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love, decides to love you back.”